thinking Deep

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Thread: thinking Deep

  1. #1
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    thinking Deep

    I'm stepping up tonight, gonna shine my light.
    For all the things I did wrong, time for me to make it right.
    those petty pointless stupid fights throughout my entire life.
    At the spots my friends left this world, I go back to revisit those sites.
    Blind now I lost my sight, then I opened up my 3RD eye.
    I felt dead all along and now I'm just coming alive.
    But still I gotta tell you goodbye, cuz I cannot remain here.
    This land has turned to Poison caused by all the pain and fear.
    But we can change it, just need some rearrangement.
    Cut off demons I hanged with, this never is a game kid.
    But when shit don't go the right way, I'll be the one to blame.
    like Drake told all of us, nothing was ever the same.
    Yet still somehow i remain, got rid of all my hatred.
    I put my faith in the Lord & declared my own soul sacred.
    I'll leave this world naked the same way I came into it.
    My passion is these raps I spit, I'm devoted and I'll never quit.

  2. #2
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    Re: thinking Deep

    I can relate your word flow was incredible, the topic on point and true and the fire shone thru - I can relate to this style of writing and in my opinion one of the best posts I’ve seen on here in a while. I want to read more.
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    Why does everyone think Iím a boy?

  3. #3
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    Re: thinking Deep

    You will get much more believe that , whole reason I came to this site was just for someone to read what I had to say so thank u so much just for taking the time to read it and for the feedback. Much appreciated!!!

  4. #4
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    Re: thinking Deep

    This is good, thus that I call "tri-quarter style" where one of your lines is broken up into to parts to introduce the next line with the content or meat of the imagery or emotion. DMX does this, and if done correctly it sound and flow well. You pulled it off. The balance of content, direction and emotion really is present via the structure. Definitely watching what you drop. Good job.

  5. #5

    Re: thinking Deep

    Digging the style as well. Like the flow. Very deep.

  6. #6
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    Re: thinking Deep

    Just seeing all this feedback man and was having a shitty day and this made it so much better for me thank you. And i for one love DMX I even got to meet him at Lake George NY timberland outlet. Been listening to him since I was 11 I love the feeling and raw emotion and pain he brings to his rhymes but this was just something I wrote at work within hour. I just was trying to press my mind to come up with something creative to put together I thought it flowed out nice and smooth got more coming for you all soon have a good afternoon!

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